#im updating now...
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
EDIT: seems this is more common among ND people than i thought, and probably not limited to AuDHD specifically :] i was just describing my own experiences and didn't expect this post to blow up, so don't take me for an authority, but i'm glad it resonated with so many of y'all!
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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Ill post this au( inspired by tweet above) i started on my twt on Tumblr too
First part
more comic panels below
Second part
Third part
Fourth part
Shenanigans side extra
this is currently an ongoing series, if this does well here, I will continue posting these in bulk (~ ̄▽ ̄)~
feel free to ask me ab this au and give your suggestions!
#this is not intended to be the master post so every update i will js link this thread to the new one#also im going off the idea that every named character will be transmigrators (see tweet thread for the og idea)#btw sqq nor lqg will be the most important plot changing narrative catalyst#I want all of my dear transmigrators to have some screentime dammit#as of now only 7/12 PL are transmigrators so more of them will come#archerdoodles#myart#illustration#artwork#drawing#mass transmigration svsss au#svsss au#scum villain#svsss#scum villian self saving system#luo binghe#luo bingge#peerless cucumber#airplane shooting towards the sky#shang qinghua#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#mu qingfang#yue qingyuan#qi qingqi#wei qingwei#liu qingge
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static
#vocaloid#hatsune miku#miku hatsune#i live for making her unsettling.. had this concept in my head for a few years now im so happy w how it came out#will be up as a print during my new shop update this month too :P#i havent been updating much on tumblr but im cooking up something good for this months shop update IM EXCITEDDDDDD
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first ever playthrough of stardew valley is going great so far
#mine#stardew valley#stardew valley fanart#leah stardew valley#shane stardew valley#why does this man want me so bad#leah bby girl pls give me a chance#update: im dating leah now lets goooo#update update: me and leah are married now <3
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growing up!
#FALLS TO THE FLOOR!!!!#so shocking news: the silver artbook actually killed me a little. this is the first finished pic ive made since#wow isnt it crazy that 26 completed illustrations would kinda take it outta ya. bananas. i need to Not do a full bg again for a minute#i had the stupid thought like 'oohhgh i could do a series of silver and lilia as hes growing up!!' im HITTING ME!!! NO MORE SERIES!!!#I CAN DO NON-RELATED PICS OF THAT IF I MUST!!! THE PRESSURE OF A SERIES IS TOO TIRING RN!!!!#my life is a whirlwind i JUST moved and now might need to move again bc id make a ton more#im trying to sell my house and its going very poorly. im doing well at work. ID HAFTA MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AGAIN#ID BE BACK NOOOORTH id go to pennsylvania <3 im from new york so the thought of being closer to my mom is rly nice#and i have friends there both from high school and ohiiiio and new england etc etc!!!! YAY!!!#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#suntails#did u miss this. be honest. when i vanish for months at a time do u miss the rambling life updates. theyre who i am
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#pjsk#project sekai#mizuki akiyama#date of me making this post: july 20th 2024#im making this now and sticking it in the drafts for when mizuki gender reveal happens#making this under the assumption that yes she is transfem#if she isnt then well you wont be reading these tags on this post to begin with#which at the time of me writing this we do not know for sure!!! i can not see the future!!!!#but if youre seeing this that means mizuki trans real yayyy yippeeee#congrats to mizuki on the fun gender from past me#10/12/24 update: ok it wasnt EXPLICITLY confirmed but im posting it anyways lolzor
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fat dog 4 fat dog !!
#tillys gettin some updates and my husbdogboy is getting close to finalizing his doggie#excited :]#my art#sketch#t4t#furry#fursona#oc#dog#canine#puppy#oc: tilly#dogboy#doggirlboy here also but dogboy is gonna be my bfs tag for now#also hiiiiiiiiiiiii im sick ass fuck yay#still drawing but im goop#fat#chubby#shwatever#more art in the fat tag im doing my part
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Getting a feel for my designs for smilk & all of his era's, plus some headcanons & extras.
#love and hate this blue twink and his zesty aah voice lines for dragging me back into cookie run#but hes given me so much inspiration & motivation for art.. i'll let his gay ass slide. for now.#some more cookie run art since the first one was received well (my most popular post.. what da heck!!!!)#not toxic yaoi this time tho... more soon tho if this stupid jester has anything to say about it#need to get him outta my system rn so that im ready for the toxic yuri- I MEAN eternal sugar update :)#my art#monosart#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#crk#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk crk#fount of knowledge#jambound#i also wanna draw more jambound scenes!! i have Ideas!! but that requires more practise drawing pv
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・ 。 ☆∴。 * ・゚*。★・ ・ *゚。 * ゚。·・。 ゚ ゚ *.。☆。★ ・ * ☆ 。・゚*.。 * ★ ゚・。 * 。 ・ ゚☆ 。 ☆ 。・゚*.。 * ★ ゚・。 * 。 ・ ゚☆ 。
True Love's Kiss
#silili#but can be platonic if u wanna#lilia's love saved silver from his curse#and now silver's love will save lilia#IM SO SCARED FOR THE NEXT UPDATE GODDD#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twst art#twisted wonderland fanart#alexinwonderland
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genuinely is my brain erasing itself or is google/tumblr censoring that post about notre dame and old growth forests.
#i know we joke about tumblr's (lack of) search function#but at some point this is surely (less) passive (more) aggressive#(particularly against people with memory issues...is this. is this gaslighting.#am i. am i being GASLIGHTED. by a social media platform who isn't even my PARENT???)#that post is ingrained in my memory but google image is flirting and fwirling its fan 'haha! you're so cute! and Imagining Things. Dear :-)#i have Looked okay! i've looked! and i've looked for a SEVERAL DOZEN POSTS before this after talking To People...and behold!#...this last year or two i *genuinely* can't find posts 4 out of 5 times.#what the COOL GELITAN FUCK is going on#geletan#gel#GELTAIN#GELA--im so scared right now#so tired#GELITAN#what the chilled gelitan fuck is going on#update: i Am being gaslit just not about the spelling of gelly-thing#i'm both stupid AND being gaslit. these things! can! coexist! *sad clapping*
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the rude blacksmith has enchanted me. also feeling so normal about this game that i did pixel art for the first time ever to try and draw my farmer in the game style
#fields of mistria#fom#fom farmer#march fom#fom march#march fields of mistria#fields of mistria fanart#IT WAS SO FUN TRYING TO MIMIC THE CHARACTER STYLE#ive been following fom development since JANUARY 2022#i signed up for email updates guys#im so happy its in ea now hehe#dev team ily its so fun im eagerly awaiting full release#im quite in love with literally all the romance candidates but im so obsessed with annoying march#that i dont think i can kid myself on who my first route is gonna be LOL#gives me an excuse to replay the game a bunch once its out :3#itseart
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my favourite found family <3
omg happy link click day 30.04.2025
#link click#cheng xiaoshi#qiao ling#lu guang#shiguang dailiren#my art#this wasn’t intended to be specify;y for the anniversary but I had fun with it so yea#I just really love these specific outfits it makes me feel fuzzy :)#omg first time draiwng miss ql I hope I did her right :^)#i wish I could redraw it so shiguang hands can touch but I. too lazy#also I got fuckign murdered by the official art oh god#im not ok#happy 4th anniversary to one of the most memorable pieces of media ever#I remember being so bored waiting for hira/ka/gi updates I was trying to find smth to distract myself#came across this donguha with 2 hot guys and gave it a try#now im balls deep in another hyperfixatjon
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OH MY GOD SHUT UP
SHUT. UP
IM NOT OK
#ultrakill#game update#ultrarevamp#GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#I DO BELIVEE V1 LIKE ANY OTHER MACHINES HAS A FEAR OF DYING#ITS AN IDEA I DONT HTINK MUCH PEOPLE DOESNT TALK ABOUT THAT OFTEN#BUT HOLY GOD THIS JUST SOLIDIFIES ONE OF V1'S GREATEST FEAR#IM NOT OK. IM NOT OK. IM NOT OK. IM NOT OK. IM NOT OK. IM NOT OK. IM NOT OK. IM NOT OK.#blab#I AM NOW COMPELLED TO HUG THIS DAMN MOSTQUITO
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an even less exhaustive list of femme literature
since a made of a list of butch lit, I thought it would be nice to make a list of femme writing by (mostly) femme authors as well. books I've read myself in bold; take the rest with a grain of salt. I'd really appreciate additions, especially of fiction!
fiction:
dykette by jenny fran davis
perfume and pain by anna dorn
trash by dorothy allison
all the pretty girls by chandra mayor
femme confidential by nairne holtz
bottle rocket hearts by zoe whittall
nonfiction:
brazen femme: queering feminity ed chloe brushwood rose and anna camilleri
femme: feminists, lesbians, and bad girls ed laura harris and elizabeth crocker
the femme mystique ed leslea newman
out of the closet and nothing to wear by leslea newman
fierce femmes and notorious liars by kai cheng thom
dirty river by leah lakshmi piepzna-samarasinha
s/he by minnie bruce pratt
naked in the promised land by lillian faderman
a restricted country by joan nestle
rust belt femme by raechel anne jolie
my dangerous desires by amber hollibaugh
odd girls and twilight lovers by lillian faderman
another mother tongue by judy grahn
boots of leather, slippers of gold by elizabeth lapovsky and madeline davis
the persistent desire ed joan nestle
persistence: all way butch and femme ed ivan coyote and zena sharman
articles/essays:
our own words by rosza daniel lang/levitsky in e-flux
high femme camp antics by jenny fran davis in la review of books
with gratitude and struggle by nan alamilla boyd in autostraddle
that time I went on a lesbian cruise and blew up my life by shannon keating in buzzfeed
femme-inism by paula austin in colonize this!
#books#reading#femme#femme literature#<-idk what else#compiling this was such an ordeal and im going to keep updating it as i go thru my lesbian fiction reading project#but it is done#for now at least.....
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Now that I have some free time again I can finally post all my old sketches!! First up is Grillby!! 🔥
#GAZE UPON MY FIRE BOY#Grillby#Just sketches for now but do you see my vision#I need to do a proper piece with him#his arms are so much fun to paint#its criminal that i've never painted him properly before actually#I'm going through my old work and updating/posting stuff#BECAUSE IM FREEEE#COURSEWORK DONE FOR NOW BABY LETS GOOOOO#playing around with the exposure of the 'camera' here#he would be a bitch to take a decent photo of unfortunately#probably#sketch#mine
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